Fan Mail Response: Places to Eat

In my line of work I get literally millions of emails everyday. So I usually have one of my assistants read through a couple and pick out one question a fan has asked in which to answer. Today little Nate K. is the lucky winner, his questions is "Hi I am a huge fan of yours and really excited to talk to you and hear your expert opinion. What is a great sit down restaurant where I can both eat good and healthy food?" 

Well Nate first thanks for your question, I would not make a living if it weren't for devoted fans like yourself. But to answer your question when I go out to eat I spare no expense. My top three choices have got to be Burger King, McDonald's, and Wendy's. These three places offer quality food at unbeatable prices. 

Now many may say "Hey these are all so great so how do I decide which one?" Well that is true but don't just flip a coin yet. There is a simple rule I use in determining what restaurant to go to. 

The rule is this: McDonald's for breakfast, Burger King for lunch, and Wendy's for Dinner

Now don't get to excited there is a method behind this madness. McDonald's has one of the best breakfast menus out there. The sausage egg McMuffin is unreal, I mean all other breakfast sandwiches are basically trying to copy the amazing taste of this fabulous breakfast treat. And if the McMuffin ever gets old then there is always the yummy McDonald's hotcakes. I loved these growing up (years and years ago) and still do to this day. 

Next is BK. Now I love some of Burger King's meals especially the new combos they are rolling out (the Angry Whopper is very tasty), but the dollar menu is why they are a no brainer for lunch. 10 items for under a dollar. The two I always get our the Spicy chicken sandwich and the Whopper Jr. Now for under 5 dollars you can buy a Spicy Chicken, Whopper Jr, a drink, and fries. Talk about some value.

Finally there is dinner. I like Wendy's in this category I feel there fries are even better then McDs or BK (though it is a tight race), and their meals are a great buy. Add in the fact that they have square cheeseburgers and to me higher quality food and Wendy's reigns as number one dinner stop.  

Now I realize that if you are craving a Angry Whopper or a Big Mac things can be moved around, but this simple rule never hurts.

So thank you Nate K. and all the fans out there, I hope this post helped you along life's journey. And I realize that this blog covers so hard hitting stuff (a lot of Taco Bell fans will be sending me emails, though I do agree you can't go wrong with a late night taco) but I am just trying to help people out and make the world a little better.

Roommates and people I hate

There are certain people you live with who are never really supportive. For example a very close friend of mine started a blog and instantly negative comments, no doubt spurred by jealousy, spewed from his roommates lips. I mean if you start a blog, which is no easy task I mean a lot of time and effort is involved, then I feel that people should read it and love and maybe even pay you large sums of money to continue to read it. So to my very close friend's roommates I say this: stop the hate and make your roommate some food or give him some beers. He deserves it. 

PS I think we can all agree the weather has substance to it and therefore is a substance

The Weather

I feel like society places way too much emphasis on the weather. For a substance we can't control we spend hours of time trying to predict it, avoid it, and talk about it. Most conversations with strangers deal with the weather and almost all of them are fairly boring. I feel that there are several exceptions in terms of allowing the weather to enter a conversation.

1. A rare event such as a massive storm with snow, tornado like winds, or any deaths are allowed 

2. If the weather has been abnormally amazing/bad, such as 60-70 degree weather in January, low 30s in July etc. 

3. If the weather has been consistent for a record number of days ex. it hasn't rained in a month

4. If you are talking to any female and can not think of anything else to talk about

5. If you are trying to end a conversation by boring the other person to death

Those are my basic rules for weather in everyday conversation

Another thing weather on TV should not be used as a way for me to watch your stupid news cast for 4 hours. If there is a storm I expect to see the weather report right away. Dangle it in front of me like a carrot so that I will watch your amazing coverage of a local sewer main bursting and I will go online and find out what I want to know it two clicks. 

Finally, the migration of the American population from the "bad weather" northern states to the "nice weather" south/ southwest. I find the northern weather exciting. There are snow days, leaves falling, burning summer days, and rainy May days. This compared to the boring hot and nice weather from our southern friends. Give me a break. If you don't have the balls to handle any fluctuations in weather then please leave because your weakness is holding us northern states back. If our forefathers/mothers (I am very PC) could handle this weather with no air conditioning and heat then we should have no problem. I mean come on they have heated steering wheels now! 

My First post, world be warned

Hello there, in these troubled times there must be a steady hand/voice to calm your fears and make this horrible world seem a little better. This is not that blog, this blog is about letting it all hang out. So join me as I hold up a mirror to this world and tell her how ugly she really is.