English grammer- holding America back

Many people tell me "Max I love you're amazing use and handling of the English language in both speech and written prose." Well my reponse to them is always the same. Why must we as a society still follow the ancient and crappy confines of grammer in both speech and writing? Why can't we deciede on what and where, to put a comma? Let us free ourselfs from this yolk that we must bear!!!!

In 1776 we started a revolution to cleanse are great nation of the evils of Britain/England/the UK (I am not sure how they want to be addressed). And when we finally kicked there asses of American soil everyone thought that we would know longer have to be tainted by them. Alas we still are held hostage by the most powerful force off all, English grammar.

There was a movement in the early 1900s that was pushed along by the Simplified Spelling Board. The main goal was to Americanize certain words. Thus we added a z to realize and switching around the e in theater. This movement was supported by Teddy Roosevelt and because of it I can use more x's (which is one of the coolest letters) and can spell words easier.

I call on President Obama to do the same thing and form a new board to change our language to the betterment of mankind. It has been 100 years since these changes we're made and I think we can all agree that certain words and grammar can be changed. The main thing that this new board could do would be legalize the amazing grammar of the Internet. I could say u guyz goin to the game rite? and everything would be good. That alone could save millions of dollars
somehow.

Now I know that grammar-nazis will be having a fit when if this were to occur but I just want American English to sore above all languages and too do this a simpler, leaner, and easier version is needed.

Lastly lets drop the English part of American-English, from now on I speak American.
So I end by saying, c u nxt weak cant wait 4 it!!!!!

Lebron and my unhealthy relationship

A bromance, a man crush, a "unhealthy relationship," a creepy obsession, blind loyalty, these are some the terms used to describe my love of a Mr. Lebron Raymone James. 

Lebron has given me more joy, yet has caused me more pain, then any person currently alive. I have followed every game and action of his since I was taken to his freshman high school game with my dad. It was a magical time with StV winning the State championship that year and from then on I was hooked. 

There were the exciting moments in high school: Lebron appearing on SI's cover, the media trucks and reports always outside the school, Shaq coming to one of the games, but the greatest moment came  on a cool fall day. I was wandering the halls with my polo shirt and backpack half empty, an innocent freshman whose life was about to change. I was waiting for my sister to come out of some meeting and it was 10 min after school had let out. As I rounded the corner there Lebron and several other members of the basketball team were, standing against that famous wall with all the flyers on it. I calmly tried to walk past but was spotted. Lebron pointed at me then picked me up. (At the time my height was around 4'11" weighing maybe 105 when wet.) He placed me ever so gently on the top of a locker so that I was eye level with me and said "Man you are really short," almost wetting my pants (in a manly way) I replied "You are really tall." It was like we were old friends busting chops and laughing the night away. One of the football players who knew my sister yelled "Hey put that kid down he's cool." The party was over and I was put down on the ground. Lebron joked "Don't sue me or anything" and I replied "My dad is a lawyer." He laughed with his friends and we parted ways. 

During the brief exchange a spark lite inside of me, the gayest straight friendship of my life had begun. 

Superbowl: Painfully Awesome

I am having a horrible inner conflict as the time gets closer to kickoff for this year Superbowl. One of the teams that I hate most in my life, a team whose stadium I would gladly burn to the ground, a team who has kicked around my beloved Browns and who has shown no respect, the disgusting Pittsburgh Steelers are in the Superbowl.

Now as an American male I am legally obligated to watch the Superbowl. Few things in the world give one this much pleasure. The beer and food alone are amazing but add in the commercials (though I do NOT watch the game for the commercials) the excitement within the actual game itself, with its highs and lows, and you have yourself a dream day.Last years Superbowl is a good example of an amazing game. The underdog won, my Cousin Vinny's was delicious, and a outstanding 4th quarter that caused me to be on the edge of my seat the whole time.

But this year horrible events have transpired that causes the Superbowl to be tainted. The Stillers (this is how uneducated mountain folk, or Steelers fans, pronounce it) are playing. Now hopefully events will unfold as they did last year when the hated Patriots were defeated and all was right with the world. But if for some evil and godless reason the Steelers win, I may be effected emotionally, physically, and spiritually in a negative way.

So as I munch on some amazing food, watch some quality commercials, drink delicious Natural Lights, I will be praying the whole time for something horrible to happen to the Steelers that causes them to loose, because as a Cleveland fan that's all I can do come Superbowl time and I do it so well.